The thing about family is  .. family really knows how to crash and burn you at the same time. Probably at a family meeting,  or in dinner time ..

Like for example, they will say stuff like .. ” you are lazy cow, you are ordinary, weird, you are the winner of procrastination award, you are nothing, youu are no one .. ” shits like that..

then I declared that : ” I am not going to college. period.”

they are like : ” you are ungrateful, you should be closer to God, you are crazy.”

what the fuck, guys? you told me that I am a lazy cow, I am just an ordinary ass, I am nothing and no one … but when I decided to be nothing and no one, you yell.

I thought you’d support me.

I thought I was doing the right thing, by being what you guys want me to be .. or perhaps what you guys always told me to be :

a loser.

oh, yeah that’s how my family treats me .. They always call me a loser, they always say that I suck at everything. They always say that what I did is not good enough, not close to be good, and I am such a humiliation to the family. I have no talents, I wasted lots of money and stuff ..

thank you, dear family .. I tried to like you, really do. I tried to write nice things about you despite all the things you guys like to say in family meetings or dinner. But you know what, I think this is finale .. you guys are just bunches of annoying people, who-know-everything, who-is-great-at-everything, and I am such a terrible failure.

People used to say: when you have no one, at least your family still loves you .. fuck that shit, my family doesnt love me. I am just a lazzy-ass-hipopotamus who shits and eats everyday .. because whatever I did wont be good enough.

do you know what rather true? When you have no one, you only can rely on yourself. like what I am doing right now.

Salute,